VOICES WITHIN
You are your best friend. You watch over you. You decide for you.
Of course. Because who else could ever know what is best for you?
You know how that other person made you feel.
Only you know how hard you worked for something.
Who knows how valid your feelings are better than you?
You know you are the best. You know nobody can even compare to you.
You berate you when you have done something wrong or bad.
It’s for your own good after all.
Who could love you more than you?
Have you heard yourself talking in your head?
Yes, that voice that you know as YOU.
What if you woke up one day to realize that this “YOU” is not you at all?
From ancient Buddhism to Eckhart Tolle, all have spoken about this voice in our heads.
It is loud and it is constant. It’s is the one which incessantly chatters engaging us in banter throughout the day. This is what is well known as our Ego or The Monkey Mind.
And it is not who we are.
In actuality, it is the part of the construct of this physical mind on this Earth.
It creates this false Self-identity which we accept early on as us. There is no reason for us to doubt as it functions as a part of the collective world as well. All are lost in the internal dialogue of the Ego that rules most lives and this world.
Watch.
Even as you read this, it is talking and making judgments.
“This I already know.”
“ This is true.”
“This is a hard concept to understand.”
“Why does this even matter? This just complicates my life.”
Like my mind is saying now – “Why am I even doing this?” 🙂
Our Ego to me is akin to an epic cinematic experience that takes you all into a beautiful intricately woven storyline and we don’t even have a concept or awareness that it’s not our reality. Instantly we connect to the character and become it. Now we have a personality and we suffer and experience pain because we embody the physical and emotional worlds of the movie being played.
As we watch absorbed we become a part of the movie itself or rather the movie named Ego becomes us.
Watch again.
“Ego is bad.”
“I know about this Ego.”
“I still don’t get it. What’s the big deal?”
“This is boring”
“It’s this very same ego that has brought us and this world down”
Well, there goes the Ego labeling itself – again.
The ego does not discriminate between raising itself up or tearing itself down. It does what it needs to do to stay alive in our awareness because that’s how it’s wired.
It is the engaging book in which we become the words.
The Ego exists because it has a purpose too and is definitely a part of the bigger consciousness just like everything else. An ego is a tool given to us in this physical world so we can function and experience ourselves as an individual identity. It helps us to make decisions and plans. It works in the framework of Time and it’s illusions of the past and the future.
Like any tool in life, when used for the purpose intended it works beautifully well and to our advantage. But when we don’t understand it’s purpose, we become the unwitting puppet. Life then seems like an unending roller coaster ride where we are powerless to change what affects us.
I find that rejecting the Ego is not the answer either. By perceiving the Ego as a separate part from our whole Self we again separate ourselves from the consciousness that creates all. Anything we resist persists. And it’s the same in this case too. The more I think I don’t want to work out of my ego space, the more it is in my face.
The biggest first step towards leading an authentic and courageous life for me was recognizing that this voice exists in me. And the second was understanding is that it is not ME. From that rose the next obvious question again – Then WHO AM I?
Enter the hero, I mean the heroine of this movie!:)
In us also resides this other voice. It is the voice of our true Self. The one who holds all the answers to all the questions we have ever asked or ever will. In my experience, it’s not always even a “voice”. It comes up as a subtle feeling. Call it a gut reaction or an intuition. When I am aligned and in a calm and contemplative mood it shows up more as a subtle knowing.
My struggle has always been translating and applying what I understand intellectually to my practical life. Knowing is in no way living it.
How does one then discern which one is the Ego and which one is the Self?
How do I know that the answers I hear are not from my Egoic fears but from my true Self?
Here are ways I have learned to discern between the two.
EGO is loud and constant and resides in our head. It’s the constant questioning mind.
It holds both perceived positive and negative tones. It builds us up or/and criticizes us.
It is quick to remark and feels it is always right. It believes that it knows and lives THE truth. It also mainly works in a survival mode and thus is always protective and looking out for our safety. It is goal oriented and security is the biggest deciding factor in all circumstances. It only believes in rational and sensible plans for all situations and holds a limited perception of life as it belongs to this limited physical world.
The true Self, on the other hand, is the softer and gentler voice which resides in our heart space. In the beginning, it feels elusive and we only hear it when we are in a quiet state or when in meditation. It’s the loving voice that speaks through our intuition. It may not answer our questions right away and may answer radically differently from what is expected or wanted. It often speaks through energetic channels such as signs and coincidences that seem serendipitous. Inspiration and creativity flow from this space and our “Aha” moments and inspirational ideas are born from it. It resonates with us as our truth and it holds the unlimited perception of our consciousness.
So, how does one then have a meaningful dialogue with this true inner Self? How can we make this voice loud and clear? How does one stay in constant awareness and function from this space?
These are a few ways that I am aware of from I have read and tried.
Meditation. This is the only time when we completely detach ourselves from the Ego and embody our true Self.
By paying attention to our intuition.
Ask “Who speaks here?” Wait for the answer and you will know soon enough.
Use of tools like Tarot cards and the Pendulum. When used correctly they provide accurate guidance from our true Self.
Last but not the least, this is what I have found works best for me. It is a great shortcut that is accurate in discerning whether we are working from our head or heart space.
Ask yourself at any given time…
“Am I coming from a space of Love or Fear?”
Unconditional Love transcends all and when we function from this space, it doesn’t even matter if the Ego exists or not.
I hope this has given you a glimpse into what our Ego is and how we can befriend it and still lead a beautiful life in awareness.
My next week is all about watching and understanding my Ego. I hope this inspires you to do the same.
Do share your own experiences with recognizing and working with your Ego. I’d love to compare notes with you!
September 22, 2016