A Yes! to Life.
The Art of Parenting.
I swear I feel I can write a 100-chapter book on the stories of my journey on this one topic alone. The amount of learning, falling, getting up, beginning again I have done is hilarious, even when living it in that befuddlingly confusing and frustrating moment was anything but so.
I still recall how my seeker’s journey to understand life went from 30 mph to 200 mph, the moment my firstborn was placed in my arms in the hospital!
I felt I was at that time in no way ready to be a mother. How could I be guiding a child when I, myself, was figuring out what this life was all about?
Becoming a mother in many ways has been the sacred impetus to my seeking to understand the nature of life and how I can live it consciously.
YES, love.
Our children can be one of our biggest teachers.
From the many lessons I have explored, one of the most important ones I have undoubtedly learned is the possibility of meeting and living life, especially children with a wholehearted yes.
Identified with the conditions of the mind, we naturally lead and live life in and through the thought that resists life’s natural flow. While well-meaning, we end up guiding our children from the same mind that relates to everything by trying to change or fix rather than being present with what is and their innate spirit.
The condition of our mind that sees through the lens of “right and wrong” has us interacting with our children in ways where all our communication and connection become — obvious or subtle —all about suggestions or criticisms.
Naturally, this way of being and seeing then tends to perpetuate a perhaps unseen but a deep underlying belief that something is innately wrong with “me”.
This stance that something is wrong is a collective condition we humans carry within our energetic field. It is the same stance from which many of us see, live, and create our world. It is so subtle and yet it impacts all parts of our lives in ways we hardly recognize or realize.
It’s no wonder then parenting from this stance can feel like such a constant struggle and burden for most parents in today’s world.
Life and children have a way to keep us on our toes!
Saying yes to Life and our children does not mean that things will always be all hunky-dory or feel good. But leading from presence and a yes can definitely allow for a more smoother and holistic communication. It can helps us form relationships that are based on loving connection and mutual respect.
Meeting life and children with a yes translates as a deep soul level validation. An acknowledgment of the sacred fact that we exist beyond the need of any concept of worthiness and deservability. That what we are and where we might find ourselves in any given moment is absolutely ok just as it is.
In this, yes, one feels fully and truly seen, heard, and loved.
Say What You See
A few years ago, when I found it challenging to navigate the adolescence phase with my just turned teen, I had the luck to come across Sandy Blackard’s work. I first met Sandy at our local Unity Church, where we volunteered on Sundays, and she offered her Parenting circles.
Curious about her approach, I picked up her relatively small 90 page book called “Say What You See — For Parents and Teachers. More Hugs. More Respect. Elegantly Simple.”
At a glance, it looked like it was more for parents with young children, but for more hug time, I figured it was worth a read. And am I glad I did!
Soon after, I started attending the group sessions she held at the Church in the evenings. I found her work deeply grounded in presence, connection, and simple practicality.
Above all, what she suggested worked. Even with my teen!
And if I recall correctly, quite instantly.
The core premise of Say What You See is
Everything children do and say is a communication. Children must continue to communicate until they are heard.
All children have every possible inner strength. Children act according to who they believe they are.
All behaviors are driven by healthy needs. Children need 3 things: experience, connection, power.
All growth is through acceptance. Children set exactly the right level of challenge for growth.
“ Being heard is more than a basic human need. It’s the key to connecting with our inner greatness and unleashing our full potential.”
— Sandy Blackard, founder of Language of Listening
Sandy Blackard’s 3 part heart model.
The three parts of Language of Listening show us a brilliantly simple way of responding from presence, love, and respect. When done consciously, our every interaction holds the possibility to serve as a bridge that profoundly connects.
Awakened Conversations Live
Please join Sandy Blackard and me for an Awakened Conversations Live, where we will explore how saying what we see opens our eyes to a deeper kind of listening that begins with our eyes and ends with our hearts.
Sandy Blackard is a 2012 NAPPA Gold Award winning author of the book SAY WHAT YOU SEE® For Parents and Teachers: More Hugs. More Respect. Elegantly Simple. Sandy’s down to earth perspective helps adults see the world through the child’s eyes, making sense of what children say and do.
More @ https://www.languageoflistening.com/
https://medium.com/@SandyBlackard
All conversations held at the Mystery School Members Circle
Date and Time: Friday, Feb 18th, 2022. @7:00pm EST
We hope you will join us!